Life-Change and Starting-Over

In my exerience @ age 54.5 years changing my Life and starting over involves; 1. Reflection & Contemplation Before making changes, you must understand where you’re starting from. Personally, I know from experience it can be difficult to sit with your thoughts. It’s easy to let your mind wander. Plus our brains are really good at putting up defenses. To warm up, try listening to an inspiring podcast or do a deep breathing exercise to slow down and center yourself. For me it involves bothe reflection and contemplation; Reflection is an active, analytical process of thinking about past experiences or specific concepts, whereas contemplation is a receptive, quiet state of being present with reality without active analysis. Differences Process: Reflection uses logic, reason, and active mental effort to examine memories, decisions, or ideas. Contemplation lets go of active thinking and mental processing to rest in quiet awareness. Focus: Reflection usually looks backward at events or parses specific information to learn and plan. Contemplation exists in the present moment, observing reality or the divine without judgment or labels. Reflection aims to gain cognitive understanding, solve problems, or draw lessons. Contemplation aims for transcendent inner peace, direct experience, or un-mediated connection with existence. How They Work Together; These two states are complementary tools for an inner journey. Reflection helps sort out the facts and understand concepts on a logical level, while contemplation helps you absorb that truth deeply into your consciousness. Some spiritual and philosophical traditions view Contemplation and Reflection as a progression: you use active reflection to process details, which then prepares the mind to enter a quiet, contemplative state. Make sure you carve out the time and space for reflection. Sit down and examine yourself and your life. What do you notice? You might consider doing some journaling or blogging to help capture your thoughts. 2. Examining your value system This is a big one. It’s likely that your values have shifted over time. If you’re changing and evolving as a human and your responsibilities or circumstances have changed, your values often do, too. It isn’t that you have a wholesale change in all of your values, but the relative importance often changes and some do get left behind in favor of different values that reflect your current age, stage, and circumstances. Your work might no longer match your values. So if you’ve hit a crossroads in life, it’s important to take a step back to examine what’s important to you. What are your core values? What values come to life in your day-to-day? What values are important that are missing from your life? Do you want to change your values? What family values have an impact on you as a person? If you are single, do you even need to live in a "Family" context or is being single sufficcient? If people have repeatedly let you down and disappointed you, being single may in fact be the optimal way to live for you personally. You might even consider making a personal vision statement. 3. Revisit and rewrite your goals Just because you have written a goal doesn’t mean you have to remain committed to it if it no longer serves the direction you want to go. It’s natural that goals shift and change. In fact, you might not have clearly thought about the personal goals you’d like to set for yourself. Take a minute to revisit your goals. They don’t have to be lofty goals, either. I have a monthly ritual. At the start of each month, I write down 5-10 SAGs, or "Small Achievable Goals", on a piece of paper. Think about ways you can do the same for your goals in life. What are the small building blocks that can help you reach your big goals? How have your goals changed over the years? Try to keep your goals measurable so you can reward yourself for your progress. 4. Generate the courage to commit to change Committing to making a change is no easy feat. It takes courage, bravery, and self-awareness. It also takes a level of intentionality. Once you know your values, your goals, and where you’re starting from, it’s time to map out your next move. In a lot of ways, this step is more about a mindset and perspective shift than anything. Rather than “starting over,” think of it as starting fresh. You get to shape your new life. Positive self-talk and encouragement can be good tools here. 5. Make your next moves Let’s say you’re ready to start over in life. You’ve taken all the steps and are ready to use your growth mindset to make a move. You’ve decided how you’ll hone in on your life’s purpose or simply bring more joy to your daily life. Now, it’s time to put it into action, but start small. Let’s say your ready to quit your job. Maybe you want to shift industries or start dating again. Maybe you wants to move across the country since you can work remotely anyway. Or maybe you want to travel. Map out your move. It doesn’t have to be drastic. Even the smallest changes can start compounding into the bigger changes that’ll help you start over in life. 6. Keep checking in on yourself Like any new path in life, it’s going to come with its up and downs. Progress isn’t linear. And if you’re at a point in your life where you’re looking to start over, you know that life isn’t a straight path to self-actualization. Keep checking in on yourself and the various areas of your life that are shifting. If you fail, it’s OK. You can always get back up and try again. And when you win, make sure you’re celebrating those new skills or life changes you’re embracing. Practice self-care and self-compassion. Be kind and gentle with yourself. You’re valuable and you’re human. You’re going to make mistakes along the way and learn new lessons. It’s about how you learn from your failures that can help shape your future. 5 signs it could be time to change your life Feeling like it might be time for a change in your life? Your not alone. Life has a way of nudging us towards transitions, whether were ready or not. These 5 signs may indicate it's time to restart and embark on a new journey: 1. Restless reflection: If you find yourself frequently pondering your life's direction, questioning your choices, or feeling a sense of restlessness, it might be a sign that change is on the horizon. 2. Values in flux: As we grow and evolve, so do our values. If you sense a misalignment between your current lifestyle and your core values, it could signal the need for a recalibration. 3. Stagnant Goals: Goals are meant to be dynamic, mirroring our ever-changing aspirations. If your goals feel stagnant or no longer resonate with your vision for the future, it might be time to reassess and rewrite them. 4. Courageous Contemplation: Contemplating change takes courage. If you're mustering the bravery to confront the need for change, you're already on the path toward transformation. 5. Craving Action: Feeling a strong urge to take action, whether it's quitting a job, relocating, or pursuing a new passion, signifies readiness for change. 6. Social Support: Recognizing the importance of a support system, whether it's friends, family, or professional guidance, indicates a willingness to navigate the journey of change with assistance. But some people are solo-actors and chart their own Life-course, like me. Remember, change is a process, not an event. By recognizing these signs and taking deliberate steps towards transformation, you're paving the way for a brighter, more fulfilling future. 13 questions to ask when starting over in life In pursuit of purpose, clarity, and passion in our lives, there are questions we need to ask ourselves. Here are 13 questions you can ask when starting over in life: 1. How do you describe your mental fitness? Is it harming or hurting your quality of life? 2. When you think about your overall well-being, what are you proud of? What do you want to change? 3. When’s the last time you were outside of your comfort zone? 4. When was the last time you felt proud of yourself and why? 5. What will happen if you continue to live your life as is? What would happen if you don’t make a change? 6. What would happen if you stayed in your current job? 7. What would happen if you chose to switch careers or quit your job? 8. What are your strengths? Are you using them in your day-to-day life? 9. What don’t you like about your life right now? 10. What’s within your locus of control? 11. What would you do if you only have 1 year left to live? 12. How would your life be different if you invested in yourself? 13. Are you a priority in your life? If not, why not? PG