Being Single Is An Opportunity For Growth Not A Disadvantage

In the third study, the researchers asked participants to imagine specific scenarios meant to encourage them to see singlehood as an opportunity for growth. They found that this did little to change people’s preconceptions. “Although people reported engaging in more self-expanding activities and positive mood after our intervention, we were not able to increase people’s singlehood self-expansion potential scores,” Girme said. “This was surprising and highlights that shifting people’s overall mindsets about singlehood may be more challenging than anticipated.” Other research on singlehood points in a similar direction. One study of lifelong singles found that those who chose to remain single viewed their relationship status as a source of autonomy and self-fulfillment, while those who felt forced into that choice expressed more regret. Another study on young adults found that those who attributed being single to self-enhancing motivations or a lack of interest in relationships reported greater well-being than those who reported “self-defeating” reasons. That distinction is important, said Mandolin Moody, an associate therapist at Gateway to Solutions in New York City who was not part of this research. Singlehood can create room to explore interests and identities independently, but that doesn’t mean everyone experiences it positively, particularly when being single isn’t what they want. The study series has a few limitations: Most participants were young adults, Girme said. People in this group may have more time or social permission to prioritize exploration than older adults who may be juggling more responsibilities. More research is needed to determine whether the findings apply across different stages of life. Additionally, the well-being boost from solo self-expanding activities — such as an increase in life satisfaction and strong feelings of autonomy and competence — was short-lived. “The research showed that benefits were largely limited to same-day associations rather than indicating prolonged benefits,” Moody said. How to make singlehood more expansive Self-expansion doesn’t require booking an expensive bucket-list vacation, for instance. Trying a new hiking trail, sampling a cuisine that’s new to you or joining a pickup pickleball game can count, Girme clarified. What matters is allowing yourself to try something new and step outside your usual routines. Consider the following tips: Try something new. Take an online class, pick up a new hobby or start learning about new subjects you’ve always been curious about. Get to know yourself better. Journaling can create space to reflect on what interests you and what you’re learning about yourself. “Therapy can be a great resource for enhancing self-discovery and for evaluating belief systems that may be impacting your self-esteem or personal singlehood self-expansion potential,” Moody said. Find new communities. Look for opportunities to meet people who share your interests, whether that’s through a recreational sports team, book club, sewing circle or community garden. Moody recommends staying consistent and open-minded as you build connections outside of romantic ones. Travel solo. “Solo travel is known to be a great opportunity for self-expansion, as it fosters the full exercise of personal freedom, decision-making, self-reliance and socializing outside of your usual environment,” Moody said. Think of being single as an opportunity to focus more of your time and energy inward, Moody added. Ultimately, the goal isn’t to decide whether being single or partnered is better than the other, Lev said. “It’s to stop treating singlehood as a state that must be escaped. When we approach it as an opportunity rather than a deficiency, we gain the freedom to use it for exploration, connection and growth, and to become more intentional about who we want to be.”